The video portrait I have created is entitled 'Self Portrait, One Hour', which is exactly what it is. Myself sat in front of the camera for an hour. I wanted to explore how conscience we are of the camera and ultimately watch myself back and see how I felt about the footage. The first half an hour there is people in the room with me and there is general conversation going on, I did this because I wanted to know how unaware I could be of the camera if distracted by other people despite the fact it being right in front of me. There was no strict plan as to what unfolded or what we spoke about, it was completely unscripted. On contrast to this, the second half of the footage is me by myself, alone with the camera. I wanted to get a juxtaposition and see how it looked also.
When looking back at the footage I found I couldn't watch it at first and was embarrassed of what I was seeing. It didn't seem plausible in my mind that that is how I looked. This is exactly what I wanted to happen, but to understand why we felt like this. The people whose voices are featured in the film, but you never see, also said they found it distressing to know that is what they sounded like. I had my anxieties, as such, playing out in front of me.
The piece itself is very simple and I like the idea that you can only see me when other things are going on and that the idea of a picture in the viewers mind is being built. I found when sitting in front of the camera time went by slowly and I was always aware I was being filmed, and make an effort not to look into the camera. What I found most fascinating from the footage i collected was in the last few minutes, there is only a second, where I am not conscience of the camera, and you can really tell, but seconds later I snap out of it. Different layers have appeared to come out of the footage that I wasn't aware of at the time but I am really pleased about.
When getting tutor feedback, they suggested I cut the piece for the exhibition show, and that people will definitely not watch the whole entire hour. To me this wasn't important as it wasn't about what the audience thought or picked up just as yet. I wanted to keep the footage raw.
